Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
