hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
