their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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