My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
