if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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