that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
