Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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