Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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