You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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