i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
