you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
