you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
