THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
