Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
