No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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