New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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