you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
