So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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