dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
