i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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