..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
