i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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