I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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