lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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