I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
