No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
