Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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