there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
