Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
