My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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