Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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