Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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