Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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