At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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