3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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