Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
