Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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