I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
