I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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