i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
