I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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