I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
