I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
