dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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