goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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