she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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