having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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