I should be sponsored by Trojan
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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