I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
