I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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