I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
