Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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