Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
how does that bad decision feel?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
