i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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