AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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