At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
