what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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