i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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