come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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