that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I smell stomach acid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it's like heaven, but drunker
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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