This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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