is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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