didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish my penis had a tongue
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
