he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
